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[20-08-'07] -- I should really do a bit more work on this webpage of mine. More regular updates and stuff.. Just don't
know what to add and how to make it so that I will learn more about programming/webdesign. Maybe converting this Strange
Page to a more complex blogstyle type page will be a worthwhile learning experience. I think I'll give it a go.
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[18-03-'06] -- Wow!!! I feel reborn this morning. All aches and pains seem to be gone. I know, I know, they'll resurface..
Just enjoying it while it lasts. Training, starvation and raw food is definitely starting to pay off now. Let's go find out
how it feels after an hour or two of steady running.
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[17-02-'06] -- Maybe life has gotten too easy. If I can manage, as I have been doing the past half year, on
only a few basic thoughts, just maybe it's too damned easy.
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[29-07-'05] -- Well.. It's been awhile since my last update, so I thought it was about that time again.
I give you a video of my usual running training lap. From my house in the centre of Groningen to the Paddepoelster
bridge behind the Zernike complex. It usually takes me about an hour. An hour long video however would be kinda
bandwidth costly so I sped it up 'a bit' and compressed the shit out of it. This has brought it down from a 60min
video to only 4 minutes. You might want to try scrolling through it frame by frame instead of playing it at the
normal speed. Anyway ...enjoy..(?) !!
The video (right-click -> save target as...) -->
4min_zernike_lap.wmv (46.7 MB)
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[23-01-'05] -- In the category of distasteful photos i give to you: Attack of the Bloody Socks.
Click for the full sized photos.
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[15-01-'05] -- Woohoo!! Got myself a new camcorder..! Lex The Director. Nomore lower-than-low quality vids!
Some nice effects in this one.. Still learning though.
The video --> kicks_clip_small.wmv (2.58 MB)
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[30-12-'04] -- Yet another weird flex-exercise video.
The video --> bbreaker.wmv (1.67 MB)
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[19-11-'04] -- Sometimes you just need to be upside down to find out everything's going to be A-OK.
Save the raw video footage handstand_wall.avi (1.20 MB)
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[02-11-'04] -- I'm starting to realise I like pain - or to be more precise, the feeling of fighting against and conquering pain.
RRRAAAAWWWRR!! Need more flexibility..! :E
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[01-11-'04] -- Got a health bug whispering in my ear: do this, eat that, train everyday, get stronger, more flexible.
Being forced to find some alternative training routine (instead of running) by an injury is proving to be very beneficial
in the end after all. Soon i will be a lean mean green raw-movement machine. And then Stage II may commence:
controlling the machine.
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[29-07-'04] -- Drowsy, sleepy.. The hot water only strengthens the effect of the 12.5 kilometers run this afternoon
in the hot burning sun. I could just fall asleep then and there, right in the shower. I even sit down in the small cabin
for a moment. Luckily the soothing sound of Elvis Costello's 'Alibi' is soon replaced by Danko Jones' raging
'Too Much Trouble'. My runner's high dissipates quickly and it's back to business as usual. Updating my log I find I have run
one hundred km in the previous two weeks. and now, this week, on Thursday I'm at 32.5 km. Saturday I will be running 21.1 km
and who knows how much I might do on Friday and Sunday.
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[07-07-'04] -- Ah finally 'it' has come: summer break... The most suitable time for making real progress and learning new stuff.
Lets pray it gets warm and sunny so I can run barefoot all day long and sweat my heart out. I need to get tough again, tougher
than I have ever been...
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[07-07-'04] -- A weird video.
Save side_stretch.avi (5.31 MB - DivX)
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[21-04-'04] -- Me and my iliopsoas / Me: Well ili, you'd better get with the program because no matter how much you bitch and moan
I'm not gonna take it easy on you. iliopsoas: Okay okay, I give. You just keep those ointments, ice-packs and stretches coming, buddy,
and I'll keep up my end of the bargain.
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[16-04-'04] -- Pain is the foremost indicator of harmful stimuli to the body. Currently I'm in alot of pain.
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[27-03-'04]
Rabies
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[24-03-'04] -- Small bags of coins in the back of my lower legs, feels pleasant although
it does slow me down. The soccer game last night was absolute disaster. I dragged my feet up
and down the court like as if they were made of lead.
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[16-03-'04] -- Tying my shoelaces I suddenly got this strange feeling about my shoes.
Mittens for the feet. Could I be without my shoes? My smelly shoes with little ribbons on
them like some kind of present. Ever laughed at a dog with shoes on..? Damn those hard and
sometimes sharp man-made surfaces, let's all go barefoot!
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[14-03-'04] -- Springtime is acoming! All hail spring! In my opinion it should be springtime all
year long. Not too cold and not excessively warm, just the way I like it. I want to frolic in
the green green grass, make slidings, get dirty and have unwashable grass stains in my clothes.
Ah spring...
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[01-03-'04] -- Aha! Just in time for spring. Those signs of progress are mine again.
Uncontrolled muscle contractions, like maggots crawling inside my legs, building new
structures, laying new paths, reallocating resources. Eureka!!
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[15-02-'04] -- Understanding can very effectively be obtained by exaggeration.
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[05-02-'04] -- The human bladder can contain approximately 300-500ml of urine. The body
contains on average 5 liters of blood for which the glomerular filtration rate (GFR) is
180 liters per day.
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[05-02-'04] -- I feel the need for anger towards my inaptitude is on the rise.
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[30-01-'04] -- It's been relatively quiet lately. Maybe it's the season. There have been
some thought though, about people as satellites, lonelyness being absolute bliss, superiority,
return to youth and willpower. I'm desperately seeking the latter by the way and I believe
it will return soon now. The question remains: should I pace myself or push on no matter what?
Paradoxically willpower dictates pushing on, common sense urges me to restrain myself.
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[11-12-'03] -- One of last night's lucid dreams: I'm in some strange future world. In an
underground city-complex. Lonely fires and rubbish are scattered across the streets.
I'm in my bed. My room is completely dark and reminds me of an insane asylum ward with
only one bunk bed in it. I'm on top. Then I feel somebody sitting down in the bottom bed.
Something is placed against the temple of my head. Feels like the barrel of a gun. I grab it.
It turns out to be a metalfile. I take it in both hands and thrust it into my stomach.
My heart is still racing when I reach for the lightswitch. Second dream that night:
peaceful Japanese waterfalls.
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[15-10-'03] -- Replaying a past event in my mind, a social event. Watching the simulation
from a bird's eye view, close-up, first person, split -yet somehow intertwined- screens.
Able to pause the tape at any given moment while zooming in or out, rotating the camera
around any object or person. I modify my past actions and simulate the resulting changes.
There is no real desire here to socialize. Other people's words are clouds of birds to me.
I am an observer, observing to avoid confrontation and to add from others unto myself.
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| [13-10-'03] -- Everything said, everything done, nothing relates to me.
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[07-10-'03] -- What the heck is going on? Have I somehow finally crossed some threshold?
"Entered the zone where normal things don't happen very often". Bordering on insanity,
clarity and obscurity are working in perfect harmony. I know, yet I do not understand.
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[24-09-'03] -- The art of writing down what I am thinking tends to be more and more like
sculpting with words. Starting of with whatever pops up in my head during the first few
keystrokes, then I take a little here, add a little there. Never able to produce an exact
copy of what's inside, always just an impression.
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[24-09-'03] -- {After the lecture} Bungee-jumping, scarification, extreme body modification.
Question everything seemed to be today's lecture's message. Adapting the bodily machine to
the needs of the mind seems to be on the rise. People desperately seeking stimuli to wash
away the apparent stench of boredom. No one has any real answers, it's all too complex for
our feeble minds to comprehend, yet still some of us keep on seeking.
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[24-09-'03] -- Thoughts in black on white don't have anywhere near the same meaning as when
they are still inside your head. For some reason I feel compelled to write. Any subject
will basically do. Problem just is: no particular subject comes to mind and all my words
seem to be completely hollow. Earlier I thought about writing a novel, but then I'd first
have to figure out some kind of storyline. Not really in the mood for that. Maybe just
the act of writing any old bullshit will be enough to sooth my weary mind. Hence this
crappy piece. It's almost 2:00AM here, in 9 hours there will be a lecture again,
about 'man' and his self-image. Why can't I force myself to go to bed? All this late-night
pondering will probably lead to nothing anyway. So here I am, 2:00 in the morning, tired
enough to sleep yet unwilling to do so. I think I'm beginning to realize that solitude
is my preferred state of being. All alone in my room filled with thought shrapnel, only
coming out occasionally to leech on other people's minds like so many before me. Most of
humankind seems like a disappointment to me at this stage. We're not all that special as
I was led to believe. Sometimes I wonder about the way other people think: are they
thinking as much as I am? And about the same things? Many, if not most, seem to roll
thoughtlessly from one event to another on some basic warped instinct. Modern culture and
instinct, however, don't go together very well. An abundance of need-fulfilling entities
has turned part of human instinct into a dangerous weapon. Goddamn, why all these garbage
thoughts? I've had them all my life. What is their function or purpose? Three pounds of
grey brainmatter. Machines, that's all we are, thought-machines, consciousness being just
a side-effect or maybe a tool to produce even more thoughts. We live, we die, we function
and subsequently cease to function.
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[08-08-'03] -- After one week of eating nothing but raw foods --
Two bags of chips, 500 gr dairy ice cream and 600 gr potato salad... This morning I felt
lousy. Last night's weak moment has probably (hopefully) taught me a very valuable lesson.
I knew eating that shit would make me feel bad, but this rancid taste in my mouth and
this heavy feeling inside my gut... Damn..! Fortunately the green build-up in my core
is expelling these symptoms quite rapidly.
Old lady Destiny outside my window, searching. Inside her hand she holds my future.
I can see her, she however has some trouble finding me, but does not notice me looking
at her. Finally she spots my number and throws the message inside.
"the message" Not "her message", for even she is bound by herself.
Despite recent events somehow the future emanates radiant colors of willing benevolence.
I have a strange kind of good feeling about this future study of mine. All the stars
certainly seem to be lined up for success this time. The faculty is only a 5-minutes-walk
away. Even today's received information about the first few days, roster, camp etc. seems
faintly foreknowingly familiar.
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[31-07-'03]
Let's start of totally wrong. Not a textual thought, but a cartoon
representing a great idea. After you're done laughing try to think about what practicing
this concept would actually entail.
Found here -->
http://www.all-creatures.org/murti/index.html
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